Mariella replies The bells may toll but his promises also chime sweetly. But I have alarm bells ringing and am at a loss as to what to do, with no one to turn to. He is seeking counselling, has gone cold turkey on porn and will do anything to win me back. He swears he isn't bisexual or gay, and says he's watched so much porn his appetite has increased for more taboo and risqué stuff and that he just compartmentalised everything and didn't think about the effect on me and the children. I had an inkling he watched porn, but had no clue as to the frequency (daily he was even bunking off work and watching it in public loos). When I confronted him he confessed he visited a gay sauna on four occasions while I was pregnant and started emailing a man he met there. He said he has been addicted to pornography for over a decade (long before we met) and this had been making him have urges he had difficultly controlling. Six weeks ago I discovered that my husband has been chatting to men online via Gaydar and other similar sites, and emailing one man in particular. The dilemma I am a 38-year-old woman, married for three years, with three children under the age of four.
